It's been a while.......

Girlfriend is no longer a single girlfriend so the posts are no longer "bad date" posts but this one ranks right up there with the "only happens to you" posts! From the girlfriend: It was crazy at my house last night from about 12:30 pm until about 5am! Boats, Helicopter, Cops, state cops, "Scuba Steves" from the fire dept, ambulance, fire trucks, service trucks - you name it, it was at my house. It was a guy walking his dog. He walked off the path and got stuck out on an island in the swamp. They tried all night to get hi - helicopter was for lights on him and guide the guys to him but they couldn't because at times they were neck deep in water. He had started a fire out there so they could see that too. They eventually had to drop something from the helicopter/plane to lift him out. He refused to be transported, they treated him and his family came and picked him up at the barn. LOL. Unreal! I called because I saw an undercover car in the yard but that's all I could see. So I saw the helicopter searching and an odd car in my yard. It turned out to be 1 of probably 10! Then I noticed something else in my yard by the bar driveway and stepped out and saw it was a boat. That's what I was like "WTF." So that was 3ish. I watched for a while and then saw the Fire Chief and another cop pull in so that's when I went out to the fire out and came around the corner of the bar and saw the entire fleet! So I hung out with them for a while, sat with the dog for a while until they left about 4:45ish.

Girlfriend has had a boyfriend for so long now this blog is so BORING> :)
I'd much rather boring or no posts for the Girlfriend though!

She's one happy woman!

There's a skunk among us

Another wildlife story! Getting stuck in a closet with Goldie, the trusted golden retriever companion, "girlfriend" and a skunk!!
She went to the barn to do night check- went thought the routine- unalarm the place, flip the lights on, and open the stair door to the hay loft. Goldie accompanies her with this every night. So this night when she opens the door, and turns on the light, she takes a couple steps up. Goldie does not come but stays behind, which is odd - So she turns around to the bottom of the stairwell to find Goldie with her head through the kitty door in the door and a skunk behind her at the bottom of the stairs!!!
The three of them have made a VERY CLOSE little triangle!!! WTF???? What does one do when they are stuck in a 3'x3' square with a skunk and a dog? So she decides that one of us has to move and seeing Godlie has blocked the only exit out for the skunk with her head in the kitty door, its poor "girlfriend" that has to move!!! So there are only 2 steps to go down- skunk being only approximately 3' away- so she tries the first step - skunk moves but not much!! PHEW!! Step 2- okay- it just moves a little again! Step 3- slide through the crack in the door, grab Goldie and run like hell!!!
Now she runs to the house and gets the dog in. But now still has to deal with the skunk. So she go back out (I know - CRAZY) - opens all the barn doors to give it plenty of room to make a clean get away!!! She goes back to the stairwell and peeks in the kitty door to find the skunk LYING DOWN!! Like this is the time to nap??? Really??? So now she has sat in a closet with it and it didn't spray and now its lying down? Something must be wrong right? So she called animal control who tells her "we don't have one on now but they only deal with dogs and cats - but I will send an officer out to try to help you" WHAT!!! Like a real cop?!?! So down comes an officer! He decides he is going to remove the cat food in there by taking a broom, putting it through the kitty door and pushing the skunk out of the way and pulling the dish out. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? So he manages this without getting sprayed!!!! So after an hour gone by- the officer tells her "I don't think its rabid- just scared- and if it was I couldn't shoot it anyway because if It went though the wall or something it could hit a horse" LOL!!! "Just leave the skunk for a while and it will eventually leave" Great!!! So 1hr and 30 min. later the skunk finally left- AND NEVER SPRAYED!! Lesson of the night- Skunks do not like to spray in close quarters because it is so noxious to themself as well!!!

Well after another wild animal story - it still sounds as if this is an easier situation than dealing with a stupid guy! :-)

That's all for now - stay tuned

A non-dating "Oh Dear"

A reenactment of the story directly from the "girlfriend"

So I am driving home at about 8:15 last night. Pull up to the light on 106 by Amy's old work- the Shaws corp. headquarters. I pull in the right lane and there is a white car with tinted windows to my left. It is a red light and we are the only ones there. All of a sudden this guy opens his door and starts yelling something at me- I turn my head and see something on his lap- have no idea what it is and he is a big black guy. I gun it through the red light and fly home- making sure he didn't follow me. He never moved after I ran the light. Scared the shit out of me!!! Called the cops but they couldn't do anything but I just wanted them to know in case any other reports came in.!!

Only me!!!

It's been all boring on the girlfriend front - no dates which isn't good - but no BAD dates which IS good. I'll keep you posted!

Creepy Old guys

A post straight from the source (poor girl)

Hockey....... I have another creepy ref that is trying to get way too close!! So there is this guy who Jay (married guy) can't stand and the day we went to lunch last- they worked together so creepy guy knew we were going to get lunch together. Thurs of this week I had to go on the ice and he came to help me out there and when we were coming back he linked my arm through his and said "it's like we are getting married walking down the aisle". he then asked if Jay called me after we went to lunch. totally none of his business but he just wanted to know. Today, he kept coming up to me, trying to make eye contact ( I looked at my phone or the comp. alot today!) and coming up to me and poking me. In between games he said "Oh, your not going home, your going to go to dinner with me and show me the back roads to the other rink" Just stuff non stop that was totally not just small talk. He is about 5'2" and probably 45!!! Then I am trying to leave today, walking on the ice talking to the girl who was relieving me, he came behind me and was pulling on my bag saying "Don't leave"............ I didn't even respond, just kept walking!!!!

The old man I worked with yesterday who worked the clock (which is where I sit b/c its between the two benches) kept saying he liked it when I squeezed behind his chair and leaned against him. Do it again, That was nice.......... dirty old man crap!! I eventually moved my seat so I wouldn't have to go near him!!!

They make me sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

With the good........comes the bad

So lucky Melissa had another "good date" with the new man. That makes it TWO (yes TWO) good dates in a row with the same man. He so far hasn't revealed anything (such as his family belongs to a cult or he has 19 children).
So go Melis - keep the good dates coming!

and of course - there is the bad. Goldie got sprayed by a skunk last night. You didn't think that there could be just good - there's always gotta be a bad too! :(

Could it be real?

Wow - a real date? A good one? Not a loser?
Yep, you read that right - she had a normal date! Good conversation, drinks, good company!
We'll see what this turns into.

And believe it or not - he even called when he said he would after the date. Lord help me - is this possibly a normal man? - oh wait, is there such a thing? ha ha

GOOD LUCK MELISSA!

A recent date........

Oh yes, this one is recent:

She went out with this guy mid May on a date that she knows (he's a hockey ref and she's the trainer for the tournaments). So they went out to dinner and drinks one night.
He texted her that he had a good time, etc. They emailed about going out again and he said he would be "extremely busy".
So she hasn't heard from him until yesterday. They were at a hockey tourney and he was the ref - he asked her if she wanted to go for a drink in between tournaments. They did - it was alright.
Today he's texting back and forth with her and they know a mutual person -

Melis: "do you know Sue and Bob"... (whatever their names are)
Him: "Yes, I went to their wedding and they came to mine"
Melis: "You were married?"
Him: "Yes, I told you that - I got married SIX weeks ago"

WTF? No he never told her he was getting married and the reason he was "extremely busy" was because he was getting MARRIED and going on a honeymoon! Oh my gosh! and she said he would text her now and then saying hi, how are you, going to bed now, just got home, etc. Nothing ever about being married. Can you even? CREEP!

You're under arrest

OK - last non dating story (well probably not)! - these details are also vague as it was a while ago...
But I remember getting a call late one night that Melissa couldn't go home! Driving home she passed an accident on the highway, lots of cops, etc.
When she went to go home to her house there were cops everywhere walking all over the place down by her street. She left and went to her parents. They called the police who told her they couldn't tell her anything and to call the state police. All they could tell her was that there was a hit and run and the guy had escaped and ran through the woods LEADING OUT TO THE FIELDS NEAR HER HOUSE! Oh great! So I believe that night that the horses went hungry in case Hit and Run man was hiding in the barn!

State Police anyone......

OK - I diverge from dating stories - but these again, are too good to be true!
So you live alone, are sleeping in your bedroom, nice and quiet and are woken up to a SCREAMING woman outside your house! What? A screaming woman? Yes - that's what she had. Someone either lost or drunk (I forget now) outside her window yelling and screaming and scaring the crap out of poor sleeping Melissa!

Not a dating story, just another typical Melissa story

QUACK QUACK! How many of you can say you've had a duck in your house?...........anyone? I didn't think so!
Yes, Melissa did! Damn duck - it chased her around her house, freaking out the animals, freaking out her, shi**ing all over the house!
She had to call her dad to come over - but he was 2 hrs away bird watching - but fear not - daddy was on the way! Of course by the time the 2 hrs had passed the damn duck had gone out the door. Only to have Super Dad show up and be PISSED at Melissa that she didn't get a picture of the duck for the bird man to see!
I hope the McLauglin's decided to finally put a chimney topper on the house - who knew ducks even went on roofs!

Well Let's not forget Tom...

She somehow fell for a man who lives in a cave like cabin and still has to do family parties with because he is one of her good friends brother!
Unfortunately she still has to remind him no he can't drink and get the puppy dog look and sleep with me - MEN!

Oh, and let's not forget: Just weeks after breaking up with Tom, having a good friend whom she have known for years tell her she couldn't hear his ringtone for her call, only to confess its "Jesse's Girl" and he is unhappy in his marriage and wants to be with her. Yes, ANOTHER married man! Come on now!

Let's get caught up

So here are some of the original dating fiasco's, I'll give you the abridged version.........

An oldie but goodie: Dating a guy whom she met his family for the first time on Thanksgiving and which couldn't talk or understand the entire family as they all speak Arabic

Classic Melissa: Sleeping with her roommates from college on their wedding night (all in one bed) because her date and fellow wedding party member was molesting me while drunk running around telling everyone all the sexual things he wanted to do to me. FREAK!

A stalker: Fearing for her safety following a strange man whom said she chatted with at a BeanPot tournament of which following he did a state wide search for all Melissa Ryan's, narrowed the list to ages 21-30 and called all of them until he found her only to be approximately 15 years my senior with a daughter almost my age

Coin Star Man

The story of Coin Star man - So she meets a guy, talks to him over email and the phone for a while. He sounds like a nice guy, interesting, they have things in common. They can talk until all hours of the night and just have a nice, fluid converstaion.
He asks her out - do you want to get dinner Tuesday. Then changes his mind, what about Friday. Sorry can't do that now - maybe next Wednesday.
Finally he picks a day - makes a commitment and calls her. This is how it goes:

C.S.Man: Do you want to go get some dinner and drinks tonight?
Melis: Sure
C.S.Man: I can meet you at the 99 - I was able to go to the Coin Star today
Melis: Uh, OK

Seriously? A RED FLAG!!!! He can take her out to a "fancy" dinner at the 99 because he cleaned out his car and collected enough spare change to cash it in at the Coin Star machine! Oh man.

Being the great person she is - she gives him the benefit of the doubt - maybe he's just broke right now - we all have those times. She decides to meet him anyways.
She meets him and he shows up wearing army print cargo shorts, a Tshirt and flip flops. Hmmm, either a casual guy - or a slob. Again giving him the benefit of the doubt she sits down and has a dinner with him.

Fast forward to the end of the date - goodbyes.....He texts her on the way home with the following: (you may want to sit down for this)

C.S.Man: I may not have MADE out with you, but at least I MADE you smile

Are you kidding me? Are we in 7th grade?

More to come!

Livin' the life

I have to start this blog seeing as poor Melissa's dating life is like a comic book! I told her it would make MILLIONS someday if she wrote it all down - and since she isn't I will! ha ha
Here are the escapades of a single woman's dating life in a world of loser guys! She's like a magnet!